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It came to my attention recently that Wally Hanks is still alive and kicking.  He is best-known among youtubers, anonymous, and former Scientologists for being the guy that abused children while running a ranch for Scientology.  He was interviewed recently, and the poster asked for a transcription.  In the spirit of freedom of information, I am posting the transcription here as well as the original video.

See also:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2q6_doSq5w0  (new video), http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_obL32MQOk  (video of abuse)

U: User  WH:  Wally Hanks

U: Are you the Wally Hanks that ran the Mace Kingsley Ranch School?

WH: I started it years and years ago, I spent about half a million dollars (running it? cannot understand, he mumbles). U: I just wanted to ask some questions about the “Ranch”. I am one of the kids that were there. WH: What you mean? You couldn’t go through my program.

U: Yeah I did, down there on Avenue R-8 in Palmdale.

WH: Oh yeah Avenue 8 You know that was all done with my own money and my own time. It wasn’t really associated with the church.

U: But Debbie Mace running it, right?

WH: I did what I tried to do. It was chaotic, but uh.. but we did have we tried going to Sierras. Do you remember going to Sierras with us?

U: Yeah a bunch of times.

WH: Oh yeah we went a lot of places up there, sometimes we took courses sometimes we didn’t. We tried to learn wilderness skills.

U: Now I don’t want to give you a hard time, but I was sent to the Ranch to handle alcoholism, and there was a lot drinking going on every weekend.

WH: Well not every weekend, but you know.. I’m a (mime? wtf did he say?), I wasn’t a saint (laughing). I’m still a goddamn (mime? LOL). I’m still a trapper and a marine. There’s a lot of drinking going on in the marines.

U: So what do you think of Scientology now?

WH: Well Scientology didn’t do nothing for me, I did something for Scientology. We didn’t drink every weekend regardless of what anybody says, anybody says that they are fucking liars.

U: Have you heard the recording of you beating the kid on youtube?

WH: I don’t care about the internet, I don’t even have an internet. I’m dying anyway.

U: I’m sorry to hear that.

WH: Anyone wants to rub my name in the ground, rub it in the ground. Fact is I was discharged from the Marine Corps, and I’m a chaplain in the Unite States Marines. That’s the only thing I fuckin care about right now. Scientology and whatever them people are doing right now I really don’t care.

U: That’s good, that cult never did anything for anyone but themselves. Have you ever thought about speaking out. about how Scientology took all your money?

WH: Well you know they did take my money, it did cost me about a million dollars to get to OTVIII. I set that ranch up, that was my money that set that ranch up. Half million dollars. The fact is I did that for the love of man, I didn’t do it for the church or L Ron Hubbard, or anybody. I did it because I was raised in an orphanage. You know I got some really nice slick balls out of Seattle. They investigated all that stuff, and when i got out here at Edwards, they investigated it too. They said basically said, you know basically, I was a victim of circumstance. What really caused the ranch to go bad was that dumpin them fucking psychotic cases in there. I was told to run a kid’s ranch but they kept dumping them fuckin psychotic cases.

U: Did you ever have that brain injured kid named “Buddy” at the ranch?

WH: Yeah I remember Buddy, I remember Buddy, and Buddy did good until he set the wilderness on fire. That ain’t the psychotics I’m talking about, it wasn’t psychotic kids, it was psychotic adults. You know that they dumped on me out there, because the church don’t give a shit about them people. Once they get their money out of them, they’ll take them to just take them to anyone that’ll handle them. I tried to handle them, I tried to help them because that’s what I do, I try to help people (laughing), I’m still helpin people. I got 3 parolees on 2 bipolars at my little facility. But I’m aint charging anything. I never have charged anything. (4:11) The Ranch, I would say, that was a non-profit entity. A lot of people make a lot of money off that thing, but I never made a nickel off of it.

U: Did Debbie Mace ever get in trouble with the church, for all that stuff that went on? She was the case supervisor, right?

WH: Well I dunno, she got into hot water for a lot of shit. I didn’t hang out with debbie, or carol, or any of them people. The ranch was my property, my facility, and uhh my purpose was to show people survival skills. Try to deal with it, and they started dumping, you know, psychotic cases on me. It kinda (something) me a little bit. Right now I got psychotic cases, I learned a lot. I did OTVIII on my own dime. It wasn’t anything I earned off the ranch, cause that was a non-profit entity that cost that wound up costing me a lot of money. But I made it off my own ability. But I haven’t done anything with the church since ’99.

U: Well that’s good, things are going really bad for them right now. WH: I don’t give a shit about what they do, what they are. If they can make it happen, make it happen. If you can’t make it happen, then don’t. I didn’t like it because, you know, the bottom line is you had to do something for the person in front of you. That’s the bottom line. You gotta do it, you can’t charge ’em. People aint goddamn cash cows. I had a lot of disagreements with that, the expense of it and stuff. I kinda stay to myself, 62, just retired, some (wut?). And uh, going through a lot of surgeries and stuff. You know, I’ll be turning (cannot understand rest of sentence). They can bitch as much as they want, it isn’t going to make any difference.

U: Well I’m sorry to hear about your health problems. WH: Well, I’m old, I’m 63, you know, lot if injuries, lot of trauma, lot of this and that. But, goddamnit, I didn’t damnit I damn sure didn’t sit on my couch.

U: My parents are going through the same thing, and they are “OTVIII” too.

WH: Well, you know, the body is gonna get old. You know I spent 15 years in the marines. I beat all that shit up, then the railroad and stuff. It’s just surgeries, orthopedic surgeries and stuff. I’m not worried about it. Well, you know, I’m 63 and life span for someone that smoked camel cigarettes all his life and drank whiskey is probably 65 (laughing). I’m ready to go, I don’t give a shit.

U: So what do you do out in Edwards?

WH: We have a little facility out of here, if anybody wants to come out and interview me in person, they sure can. I’m chaplain of the Marine Corps and I’m commandant over Edwards Fleet out here. We got sailing boats and we teach Marines and Airmen how to sail. And we still go to (something) Basin and we still to go to the fuckin Mormons and I still teach these people how to do this stuff because that is who I am. You see? (laughing) These people are a lot smarter than the people I dealt with back in the 80’s.

U: You know, I always felt the ranch could have been really great for me, but all the “out ethics” that was going on there, really did more harm than good.

WH: Well when you got 22 people without ethics and one scummy asshole OT trying to keep it all (something)what the fuck do you think is gonna happen? Miracles?

U: There were only 8 kids with me ther in 1988.

WH: Yeah, well it went up to 22-23 then we had 6 adult psychotics. It went south pretty fast. But, nevertheless, I still paid for it.

U: So where did all the money go? Did Debbie Mace get all of it?

WH: Oh well they took their money off the top when they sent someone out, they’d take their money.

U: Yeah I remember my Mom writing a check to Debbie Mace for thirty-thousand dollars.

WH: That’s right, they’d pay me after their took their 40% off the top for nothin.

U: And no one got their money back? Even after things got out of control?

WH: Nah, they never gave me anything. I actually funded that whole program out of my own pocket. Because I was a writer, you know, at the time. (cannot understand last sentence)

U: Yeah I remember learning how to drive your 4×4.

WH: The purpose of the program was to teach people that if you make them able, grow up in the Sea Orgs, and they just kept dumping stuff and stuff and stuff, and you know, having too much stuff, going crazy, living in my own home. We went crazy. We never wanted girls, and they finally started sending girls out there. And girls are harder to deal with that boys. Lemme tell ya, they’re more clever, more sneaky..

U: I left just before the first girls came to the ranch, but I knew it would get out of control.

WH: You know that’s what happens. The fact is, we had a good program.. (end recording)

Part two:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5-twsPWCFg

WH: Anybody else would have come out of fuckin Vietnam crazy.  You know, we had a good program, a lot of guys call me and send me cards and letters and you know, it did save their lives.  You’ve got Marco (blank) that calls me every month and  Eric (blank) and a lot of the early guys you might know call me and write me and (blank).  You know, it had some good successes and guys went on to be successful and maybe some of them didn’t, I don’t know. 

U:  What about Marco?

WH:  Oh Yeah Marco, shit I got his number you ought to give him a call (laughing).  And uh, he calls quite often, he’s actually fixing to come out here and visit; we’re gonna go sailing.  Oh yeah, Marco and I went sailing quite a bit, we went out there maybe 15 times.  I still got a stable to sailboats out here I used for the Marines at Edwards and uh, the airforce people.  And uh, 1, 2 ,3 4  parolees and two bipolar cases I’m dealing with for the State of California.

U:  So you’re doing for the State of California what you did for Scientology in the 1980s?

WH:  The veterans, I work through VA.  I’m a chaplain for the Marines.  Uh, and I’m chaplain on base. So Uh, and uh it’s kind of like a veterans program, but anyone can get backed up, ya know? Particularly if you’ve got have mental issues and dealing drugs and stuff like that.  Get in trouble, but all my guys are ex navy, army, or marine corps.  The common denominator is they that they got on methamphetamine, and they got bipolar shit, or whatever the psyches call it but, you know it’s real and I gotta deal with it;  psychiatric drugs and their counselors and their psychiatrists and stuff and..  What we do is we pull the plug (cannot make out rest of sentence).  And I’ve got 8 trailers out here on the front row and I kinda run this trailer park.  And I have them stay out here, and we work as long as it takes.  They aren’t really paying me, it’s just something I do I because I like to help people.  They are doing well, but you can certainly come out and visit!  Yeah man, it’s north Edwards, we’re right off Highway 58.  It’s called Edwards Fleet, for my clients. (garbled here)  I am still using a little LRH tech but I’m also using other tech.  I’m dealing with the psyches and uh, and uh the medications and stuff like that.

U:  Have you tried cannabis at all for post traumatic stress?

WH: Well no, they get their medications from the psyches; most of  them are on Seroquel and uh, things like that.  You know, I just go with what their program is, and I monitor it.  If I see bad things I report to the social services that, you know “this ain’t working”, and you know, you need to modify it.  What have you.  The rest of it is mess work, and sailing, and going to the Sierras and keying them out.  Keeping the pace off them, like we do. And it’s manageable.  I’ve got a navy corps man that helps me. She was a case herself, she came through the system, and we she graduated my little rundown program, she decided to stay on staff.  It’s kinda like the old days, except of dealing with kids I’m dealing with the military (laughs). And Marines it’s a lot safer that way.

U:  So that’s what keeps you going?  Doing what you love?

WH:  Well it is what I love and you know, one day I’ll die.  Hopefully somebody will pick up the goddamn stick, because a lot of people out there need help.  And uh, you know there’s a lot of opportunity to put a program together.  Why do you come out and visit the program?  And uh, lemme show ya.  We got the same thing we had at the Ranch, except we don’t have any stupid horses and all that kinda stuff.  We use sailboats, and RVs, and go out in the desert.  We have campfires like we used to do when you were there probably.  (cannot understand, 4:34)  Every year, just like always.  And I got some people that help me, I got the marines that help me, that’s the main thing. I got a lot of help from the marine corp.  

U:  Well if I am ever stupid enough to come back to California, I’ll stop by and tour your facilities.

WH:  Well you do that, and if you know anybody that wants to talk to Cat and Wally, just give ’em my phone number. (laughing) I’m here till I die, and that might be sooner rather than later.

U:  Well at least you got to enjoy YOUR life.

WH:  I did, I’ve enjoyed life.  It has been wonderful, there ain’t a day that goes by I don’t think about the wonderful things we did and some of wonderful people we had.  Sure some of them were fucked up, sure I was fucked up, sure everyone is fucked up to some degree.  But you know, what when you come together as a group, those are the things that uh, make the difference.  I have photos on my internet, I got photos from all that stuff!  You know, from the ranch days,  to the fleet I put together in Seattle, from the fleet I put together here.  You know, all those photos are there, and all the people I kept them on file. Ok mate, well, give my number out! Tell me give me a call.  If anyone wants to come out, I’ve got guest quarters if they need to stay for a couple of days.  We’re on our winter sailing program right now, and we’re gonna got to (something) cove.  Then we got spring sailing ….
(End recording)


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In terms of religion, I find modern-day TV Christianity to be disturbing on several different levels, being very greedy.

At the top of my list would be Benny Hinn.  His tv programs feature him and others asking for money, over and over again.  I attended one of his healing crusades with a friend and was not impressed.  In a stadium in Minneapolis, nothing about this seemed spiritual.  A large, quiet crowd watched and people were brought up to the stage.  At one point I was so bored and uninspired I went outside to look around the city I had once lived in. 

The part of his ministry I find destructive is the promises he makes are unreasonable.  Do I believe in miracles?  Yes.  Have I seen any miracles come out of this healing ministry? No.  His inaccurate predictions about “God destroying the gay community in 1995” never came true.  I found this to be cringe-worthy;  what does the rest of the world think of us Christians now?  I don’t want anyone to be destroyed.  The very idea that this would be considered a good thing is disturbing to me.  The story of Sodom and Gomorrah to me was more about sexual immorality, not about homosexuality.  However, all religious writings are open to interpretations.

The worst of all is the target audience: homebound people.  In modern America, we have older people are unable to leave their homes due to illness, location, lack of transportation, among other reasons.  These folks may have mental disorders (Alzheimer’s, agoraphobia, MS, e.g.), and take what’s said on these programs literally.  Many shell out a great deal of money, because a lot of it is guilt-tripping the audience.  

One day, I made myself watch Christian tv programming all day, and in the end  I felt like I had been the victim of a lobotomy.  Some of it did make sense, but it was common sense stuff I already knew.   I came away from it, thinking about money and salvation, what is the relationship with one another?

To me the newest theology contradictory to the Bible would be; prosperity theology.  In the most basic terms, it’s about God favoring people and bestowing on them material wealth.  This is in polar opposite to the practice of being a Monk, a Nun, or a Priest.  It’s called a vow of poverty, which is also known as perfect charity and obedience. 

I can’t pick up a Italian-leather sectional and say “God favors me because I have this”.  That’s not a sign of a miracle, that’s obtaining what you have earned through hard work and responsible spending.  To prove my point, here’s a scripture quote: “Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to enter the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God”.  That’s found at Matthew 19:24   Not to say rich people cannot or do not get into heaven, but they have to walk the straight and narrow.  Also, I would point to one of the Ten Commandments:  “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”  Exodus 20:17   

Is the money ministry breaking one of the biggest laws of the Bible by perpetuating the idea that material things are so important?  How do we, as Christians, define coveting?  If you would like to see the Merriam-Webster definition, click here: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/covet

Does Godliness cause prosperity?  In my opinion, no.  It’s unreasonable to expect material wealth out of something you can neither prove nor disprove.   In literal terms, the Protestant view would mirror my own:  to be charitable to one’s neighbor, thankfulness for what you have already, and prohibits any grief over the betterment of your neighbor’s home.

This brings me to the biggest question of all: how much are TV Evangelists really worth?  How much money do they bring?  How do they live?  Well ladies and gentlemen, I have found those answers.  Let’s take Trinity Broadcasting for instance, they annually generate $200 million.  They do not belong to the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability, which is a self-regulating watch dog group.  In June of 2007, they purchased the Holy Land Experience for $37 million.  The owners, the Crouches, are paid around $900,000 yearly, and finally the big number, TBN earned $188,152,079 in 2007.  As a final note on TBN, they refuse to disclose their net worth. 

Creflo Dollar hasn’t got a sparkling reputation either, one watchdog group gave him an F grade in financial transparency.  The website can be found here: http://www.ministrywatch.com/profile/creflo-dollar-ministries.aspx   Some of my fellow Christians mind find the site to be useful overall, as it discusses important information regarding church financial records.  You can find the church mission statement also, which I don’t agree with.

With all due respect to my fellow believers, Christians, I implore you to explore your charity or your church before you give.

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To the best of my knowledge, “Blown For Good” is Marc Headley’s first book.   As a person that loves literature, this is staying on my book shelves for years to come, and here’s why.

The forward, written by Mr. Rathbun, demonstrates how vastly different experiences can be in Scientology.  I’ve always said “Experiences may vary”, when talking about religion.  Former and current members of any other religion/school of though/philosophy would tell you the same thing.

The book immediately grabs your attention, with a stark story of escape.  It’s so unfathomable that this is happening in America, it makes you wonder what else has gone on under the radar.  Danny Dunagin, I just don’t know what to even say or think about this guy.  I feel kinda sorry for him, because in YouTube videos he seems tough and girly at the same time.   See also:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHOqzYQHufA , http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hR7iaOyz3MY&NR=1   I know I shouldn’t because he attacked AnonOrange and other people, but I wonder what tales he would have to tell. 

So, Mr. Headley explains the structure and how he became a Scientologist to begin with.  It’s a lesson that fact can be stranger than fiction: this is not how your average American grows up.  His descriptions of being at the schools, and in particular the Complex evoked laughter at times, deep sadness at others.  At one point, he describes a 8-year-old girl standing in a pot to clean it because she is too small to stand at the sink to get it cleaned. 

In describing life at Golden Era Productions, I was surprised but not.  I knew it was bad, but some interesting details were revealed.  I’d say what they are, but that would kill the surprise for future readers.

The ending made the book impossible to put down.  It reminded me of the ending of “Valley of the Dolls”, just enthralling.  Claire Headley appears in the book at first as a great wife, and in the end you can see how clever and brave she is.  Good prevails over evil, what a story book ending!

I’m hoping Mr. Headley continues to write, he has a natural talent for it.  Here’s my review on youtube, which didn’t convey all I wanted to say:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zy8OcoGnHd4   After the holidays are over, I will be getting Nancy Many’s book “My Billion Year Contract”.

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Scientology has reminded me of a lot of things, and all I ever read was Dianetics.  It’s not because I’m a Scientologist, it’s by observing the many groups surrounding this semi-mysterious, controversial group.  As someone who tries to study every religion, I find myself on a middle road in terms of opinion.  People are entitled to believe what they want, but there ought to be limits to actions perpetuated in the name of religion.  History should have taught us this.

Like almost every other religion, Scientology has gone under a lot of scrutiny.  I think it is justified and logical, as part of the human reasoning process, we should question the validity of everything that comes our way.  From its inception, it was not well-received by governments because of its activity.  Most famously, Scientology was convicted of making the largest government infiltration in American History.  It should be also noted, that Paulette Cooper and the Mayor of Clearwater were “fair gamed” before David Miscavige came along.   The publication of a book about this was banned because of Scientology lawyers.  Lisa McPherson changed a lot of things, and now reading Marc Headley’s new book, I realize her passing made a lot of lives miserable.  It wasn’t just her family like I thought, everyone but the person responsible got punished, and this makes my flesh crawl.  It’s wrong in so many ways, I have a hard time coming up with words to describe it.  Lisa suffered, her family did, and so did Scientologists.  It’s odd this woman, who cannot speak, still resonates with purpose.

Fast forward past the tax exempt status to January of 2008.  Then Anonymous arrived, like a Calvary out of the dark midst of the internet.  They caught someone smacking a cat against the wall and made sure that person was punished for this heinous act.  Also, our awesome Canadian friends to the north from Anonymous caught a pedophile by using their brains and computers alone.  They went out to protest this semi-mysterious group, and all of a sudden the flood gates opened.  Information from left and right, and I had to buy Dianetics.  I had to know what I was talking about, the fundamentals.  It was boring to me, but someone else could find it interesting.  Anyway, I realize now that it’s a heck of a lot more complicated than that. 

The social structure within is absolutely filled with acronyms.  I’m studying medical terminology, and from this perspective one rivals the others in groups of letters, I swear.  The corporate structure of shell groups is not so amazing when you find out how it’s done.  RadioPaul1 of youtube has done a number of videos on this very subject, of closed down orgs, mailbox organizations, and orgs in strange places.  At the cable store in Hudson Valley, NY there’s a Scientology sign inside a cable payment center.  Scientology reminded me fact can be stranger than fiction.  There was a quote about the tone scale: 

  • In any event, any person from 2.0 down on the Tone Scale should not have, in any thinking society, any civil rights of any kind, because by abusing those rights he brings into being arduous and strenuous laws which are oppressive to those who need no such restraints.
    • The “Tone Scale” is Scientology’s measure of mental and spiritual health; p. 145
  • No Scientologist has ever really been able to adequately explain this quote to me.  I would appreciate it if anyone could give it a shot.

    My interpretation would be this: There are a lot of people who are 2.2 on the tone scale, more than most people know.  This would also adjust with changes times, like “The Great Depression”.  You think people weren’t depressed?  Because of these natural fluctuations, I would be innocently assuming that LRH didn’t mean it literally,  but then I read the following:

  • Unfortunately, it is all too often true that suppressors to a creative action must be removed before construction and creation takes place. Any person very high on the Tone Scale may level destruction toward a suppressor.
    • p. 159
  • There are only two answers for the handling of people from 2.0 down on the Tone Scale, neither one of which has anything to do with reasoning with them or listening to their justification of their acts. The first is to raise them on the Tone Scale by un-enturbulating some of their theta by any one of the three valid processes. The other is to dispose of them quietly and without sorrow.
    • p. 170
  • The sudden and abrupt deletion of all individuals occupying the lower bands of the Tone Scale from the social order would result in an almost instant rise in the cultural tone and would interrupt the dwindling spiral into which any society may have entered.
    • p. 170
  • A Venezuelan dictator once decided to stop leprosy. He saw that most lepers in his country were also beggars. By the simple expedient of collecting and destroying all the beggars in Venezuela an end was put to leprosy in that country.
    • p. 171
  • Scientology is not fluff, butterflies, daydreams, or making shapes out of clouds.  It’s not tea-leaf reading crapola, Scientologists fiercely defend this mode of thought, philosophy, religion.  They are dedicated, hard-working, cut-throat at times, creative, debaters, and I also found they can be great people.

    Paul Haggis recently gave up the Church of Scientology after 35 years because of the church’s support of Prop 8.  Sherry Katz and Mary-Jo Leavitt both wrote KRs (Knowledge Reports) that brought for the reality of what it is like to work under David Miscavige-Era Scientology.  It is not an “Ice Cream Social” or anything of the sort.  When Mr. Rathbun, along with other people such as Amy Scobee, Sinar Parman, Jackie Wolff, Gary Morehead, Mike Rinder came out with shocking stories also, of what it is like to serve someone who seems to, by many accounts, has an issue with megalomania.  Beating, unusual punishment, imprisonment is no laughing matter and is completely unacceptable.  You can’t call something a religion to abuse people, religion doesn’t work that way.   These folks had some great words when faced with irrelevant and silly pieces of information the church used to make itself look like the victim. 

    Tommy Davis, the newest spokesthing, sent a response to the Times, which is quite telling.  See it here: http://www.tampabay.com/news/scientology/article1012575.ece  My favorite part is where Tommy said Rinder was resentful because he couldn’t roam with dogs in the big grass anymore or some crap like that.  His response was:  “I don’t want to run in toxic grass with rabid dogs”.  I think that was well said.

    Tommy Davis, the poor kid.  He’s so bad at being the fall guy, it’s like watching a train wreck in slow-motion.  He at first said:  “I’m not familiar with that material”, to being offended about Xenu.  He also lied about disconnection.  A lady in Scientology had told a recently left OTVIII’s friends to take her off their Facebook.  That’s disconnection, that’s cutting off communication.  Another irregularity which I found to be sad and amusing at the same time:  Sherry Katz is awaiting her SP Declare because it GOT CLOGGED IN THE INTERNETS.  Meaning, her SP declare was emailed to people she didn’t even know.  Disconnection is part of the SP Declare, which you can read about here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SP_Declare#Abuse_of_the_.22Suppressive_Person.22_label

    More about the internets, in recent blogs written by Scientologists, I think they perceive Anonymous as a threat or a pack of bullies, which is quite far from the truth.  In getting to know people from Anonymous, they come from almost every walk of life, in all different colors and sizes.  They may make noise, not to be jerks, but to grab attention.  When people like Uwe Stuckenbrock die in the RPF of multiple sclerosis, it’s not about fun and games.  When we find a picture of a man who died in the Fort Harrison Hotel, his skin nearly boiled off his body, the public gets freaked out.  When Tom Cruise went under a drastic personality change in 2004, the world noticed.  I think Scientology’s first big mistake was trying to stop the flow of free information.  One man had said; “The internet will be Scientology’s Waterloo”.  A Dutch woman, Ms. Spaink, was taken to court for 10 years and eventually won her case to post information about Scientology on the internet.  Trying to suppress information makes the public angry, suspicious, and can incite negativity.  Other religions have no problem posting their information for free.

    So, I think the main purposes behind Anonymous would be:  stopping abuses, freedom of information, and at least lowering the cost of (or making it free) Scientology.  That’s been my observation.  Some people take issue with the doctrine itself, and what I would say to that is: all religious text is open to interpretation.  However, because of Scientology closing itself off from the world for such a long time, both sides have an attitude of distrust.

    Anonymous hasn’t assaulted a single Scientologist, but there are incidents of Scientolgists assaulting protesters.  This is strange and unacceptable behavior as well.  Don’t believe me?  Please have a look at:  Lady protesters from Copenhagen gets shoved http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPBpS-TEjug , a minor in London  getting hit in the face by a handler  http://www.youtube.com/user/trapsicle , the infamous starbucks guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4_b3z2E-0I , Tommy Gorman (Former Scientologist) got assaulted and charges were filed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kpvsB_At_I , news coverage of Nashville assault of college student http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvHpFtjNg_c , the infamous Anon Orange assault at Gold http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTR07SgrXfU , and there are many others.   On the subject of youtube, here’s me:  http://www.youtube.com/user/Shalindriaharam

    To date, no one has shown me a video of Anonymous hurting anyone.   They are not a terrorist group or a cult, it’s a loose collection of individuals who find the behavior of CO$ to be unacceptable.  I concur, and the reason they wear masks is so that they are not “fair gamed” and have their medical privacy violated like The Pope  http://www.angrygaypope.com .  The cameras are used as evidence, CO$ likes to make false accusations.

    All that considered, I’m on the fence in regards to Scientology.  Dianetics wasn’t my cup of tea, but who am I to judge?  I’d be a hypocrite, however making observations is fair.  Scientology itself deeply needs reform.  Mormonism is a modern-day example of religious reformation, but my favorite example was Martin Luther.  He attempted to reform the Catholic church, that brave soul.  They tried to kill him over it, but in the end good prevailed.  We now have the denomination Lutheranism, which is somewhat like Catholicism, just a heck of a lot less dogmatic.  Today Martin Luther’s observations about Catholicism ring true.

    In summation, I would like to refer my favorite David Bowie song, Heroes.   “We can be heroes, even just for one day”. Protesters, Anonymous, Freezoners, Ex Scientologists like Jason Beghe and Tory Christman, Independents, Critics like 13Heathens http://www.youtube.com/user/13Heathens, Writers like Marc Headley (I loved the book) and Paulette Cooper, Apostates like Tommy Gorman, these people are the heroes.  The dethroning of Miscavige should be the primary objective, his behavior has gone too far.  Someday (in a perfect world), I would like to see Scientologists sharing their beliefs in the same manner other religions do.  People fear what they do not understand, this is a big barrier to overcome.  However, it is possible.

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    If I hadn’t experienced this for myself, I wouldn’t believe a word of it.  My life started in Mundelein, IL.  My parents had moved in after getting married in November of 1980.  I was born September of 1981, so I don’t remember living there.  However, my mother and father both remember something strange happening there.  In the kitchen, pictures of a couple they hadn’t seen before kept seeming to appear out of the wall (or literally the woodwork), and at first they were puzzled.  One day, my mother approached one of the neighbors about it with the pictures in hand, and the person had told her the tenants just before them had a sad story.  The man had killed his wife in that apartment.  Three years later they moved to our house in northern Illinois, Cook County (aka Crooked County).

    I distinctly remember mother with a floor sander when I was three years old, and how big the house was compared to the apartment.  I had a big blue room with a huge closet with doors made of mirrors.  My first experience with the paranormal happened in this room.  I was laying in bed, and everyone was asleep.  I remember there was a nightlight, and six or seven tall shadow figures stood over me.  I looked in the mirrors on the other side of the room, and they were in the reflection as well.  No noise was made, nothing was moved, and I wasn’t really frightened.  I was wondering what they were doing there and what they wanted.

    Years went by and these sort of things kept on trying to get my attention.  Because of my hearing loss and speech impairment, I had to see a speech therapist.  I also had a tutor.  Neither one of these people ever noted any kind of mental problems such as delusions or any sort of hyperactivity disorder.  The next incident I recall was being alone in the house, taking a shower.  This bathroom was off my bedroom, so I could close my bedroom door and leave the other door open.  The door slammed shut, and everything got cold.  I struggled to get the door open, but eventually I got out.

    Later on that year, another strange incident happened.  It was night and everyone was asleep.  I heard this piano out in the living room, playing Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven.  We did not own a piano, and I had yelled for my parents who were upstairs in a loft-style bedroom.  My voice should have carried, but they wouldn’t wake up.  Only after the song was done did the piano noise stop.  As a sidenote, when I was 15-year-old and in Honor’s Chorus, a random band student happened to be playing the same song,  and I had this strange feeling hearing it after all those years.   I was about to sing in front of a couple hundred people, so that could have something to do with it.

    My parents had a marriage wrecked by alcoholism, infidelity, and resentment.  I had to stay with my grandmother for a month or so, and staying with her was so peaceful.  We played card games and watched birds from her kitchen window while mom was in rehab.  This was one of the few times I felt comfortable and safe.

    Mother made a recovery, and when she came out I was hoping things would be different.  We moved into a tiny farm house that I hated, because she didn’t have much money.  Father was refusing to pay child support because he resented us being so far from him that he couldn’t see me.  In this house, I had disturbing dreams and a feeling an old man was standing at the end of my bedroom (it was shaped like a rectangle, with windows on both ends).  I talked to the home owner years later, and she had relayed to me her father died in that house an old man.  We moved after we found snakes in the basement and other events occurred.

    The next place we moved to is a place I consider home, a 4-bedroom farmhouse 15 miles away from your typical Wisconsin rural town (population under 5,000).  The house was old and had a rich history.  It was built around 1910, and the first and original house served as a shed.  According to my research and interviews, 9 people had either died in the house or on the property.  Two had been suicides, two died of diphtheria, four died in a car crash on the property, and one man of old age.  It was located on the knoll of a huge hill, overlooking the valley.  The house was white with black shudders, a decent porch.  It had been abandoned for seven years, which added to the rumors it was haunted.  I was eleven, it was July of 1993.  Mother and I walked through the house, and I didn’t like the upstairs hallway right away.  We found a cow upstairs (the landlord, myself, and my mother), and we just freaked out and started laughing.

    I looked around the property a little further.  I was keen on the two horses that were standing in wait at the fence, as if saying; “come on over.”  After all the upheaval and hell, I felt like I was finally home.

    During my first few months there, I noticed my precognitive dreams increased dramatically.  I felt like someone was always watching me go up the stairs, so mother would wait at the bottom of the stairs and wait for me to give the “ok” to shut off the light.  I noticed scratching in the wall, which at first we attributed to vermin.  We set up traps and poison, and of course after the time it was abandoned, we found mice and voles.  After 11 years of setting traps, searching the attic, and ripping apart a heating duct, no trace of vermin or birds were found where the noise emanated from.

    I had witnesses to my plight later in life.  A friend was staying over one night, when around 3:00a.m. in the morning, a ceramic unicorn flew about 7-8 feet across the room and shattered when it smashed on the wall.  I turned on the bedside lamp immediately and there were no animals in the room, and my friend was deeply startled.  The most positive thing to come out of that experience was that I was validation.  Many children/teenagers/adults that have these experiences crave validation, witnesses.  Nothing is worse than feeling like you are completely and utterly alone in a fight.

    All these things said, around that time I started to study various religions, starting with Paganism and Abrahamic religions.  At some point, a friend and I discussed occult practice and came to the conclusion it would be interesting to study.  During this time things got worse.  Could have been hormones, could have been timing.  One day, I was cleaning and packing to go to Illinois.  I looked at the desk and there was a spoon on it, I was reminding myself to take it downstairs.  I turned around and a split second later, it flew off the desk and to the other side of the room. 

    That same year, I made my first art sale.  My room was meticulous, and I set the check out to celebrate my success with friends.  I went to get ready to go out, and the check disappeared.  No one else was living on the second floor of the house at the time, and no one else was home.  I stood in my room alone, thankful I had money saved from my job to go out.  Before I left, I made an announcement out loud.  “Whatever or whomever took my check off the bed, I want it returned there before I get back.”  When I returned a day later, the check was on the bed.  I checked with my mother and future stepfather, neither one of them had seen the check or had been upstairs.

    Tragedy struck in 1999, when two family friends died of a drug overdoses within 30 days of each other.   Both deaths were accidental and my mother had a difficult time dealing with the loss of her best friend.  So, she asked me to engage in a practice called automatic writing.  This was very easy to do, almost too easy.  She asked questions and I wrote the answers with my less dominant hand, while in a trance-like state.  Nothing incredibly spectacular occurred, aside from confirming both our thoughts.  What happened two weeks later is something I’ll never forget.

    I have an addiction to candles, so I had one lit on the dresser one night. Generally I’m careful, however this night I forgot to blow it out.  There was a poster hanging by the dresser, and the tape came off the wall.  As I was falling asleep, I heard my friend’s voice loudly say “dammit”.  I opened my eyes and no one else was around or up.  I got up and before I blew out the candle, I looked at what I had done.  To my horror, I realized I could have burnt down the house.  I told this story to my mother the next day, and she was shocked.  Jill (the friend)had a dream the house burned down because someone left a candle lit. 

    After high school, I went to trade school and worked for a while.  My new profession was boring, so I decided to move away and attended Job Corps.  I moved to one of the oldest centers in the United States, in the middle of nowhere.  That was a great experience.  I think it deserves its own post.

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    There are times in everyone’s lives where we have been bullied.  Whether it’s a racist landlord, a perverted boss, an angry co-worker,  an alcoholic relative,  a fellow student, or maybe someone who was trusted.  Part of growing up is growing a backbone, which to me doesn’t necessarily mean do the same back.  A good friend once told me, “what you allow to remain will continue”.  I’m learning this more and more as the years go by, and how to stop bullies in their tracks.

    My secret trick is to do the exact opposite back to them, or ignore them.  Nothing angers a bully into doing something stupid more than not being paid the attention they believe they deserve or crave.  When someone is ruthless to you, don’t do it back.  Sinking to their level is what a bully wants, because bullies are secretly miserable people who put on facades.  They hide behind false bravado, lawyers, muscles, or anything they can do to put up a defensive shield. 

    Bullies will cross all of our paths, and the one thing that can be learned is that he bullied often become bullies themselves.  It’s a defensive reflex to do something equally horrible or worse to someone who has tried to push you around.  However, this accomplishes nothing but feeding animosity and true discontent.  The feeling of having revenge, I have found, is futile.  It is short-lived and only makes things worse in the end anyway.

    After having learned this, came a rushing feeling to not caring what others think.  Standing a little straighter, extending olive branches when applicable, and knowing when to burn bridges is the freedom I found in overcoming bullies.  For anyone reading this is being bullied, I hope you know you’re not the first or the last. 

    Young people have been bullied to death (literal suicide) for their weight, social status, economic status, ethnicity, beliefs, and almost any other small part of a person.  One girl in England who was 13 years old killed herself after being picked on mercilessly for her weight.  I will never forget her face, she looked like a cherub.  There was nothing wrong with her.  I, for one, wish this issue was addressed more often than it is.

    Thank you for reading

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    Being a Wisconsin native, the past few years of economic decline has lead to social decline.  Friends from the Milwaukee area have told me of entire unemployment benefit checks going to binge-drinking fueled by lay-offs.  I’ve noticed more kids talking to me about abuse they suffer at the hand of their alcoholic parents, noticed the bars have been more filled with people, drunken driving is on the rise, and more are homeless in my beautiful state I begrudgingly call home.

    This was no more evident than yesterday evening.  My fiance`s mother was over at 9:00 p.m. to wish me a happy birthday.  About 10 minutes later, my landlady and her drunken-cohort (a neighbor) came up to the apartment to threaten to kick me out because I have friends that come over.  My 71-year old landlord told me that because I had a black friend that I am “peddling drugs”.  I have a clean criminal history, never tested positive on a toxicology screen, good work history, and a fairly good reputation.  By the time everyone had left, I realized that by association, I was a victim of racial stereotyping.  I am so offended and alienated, I would rather stay in a camp ground in a tent than be here. 

    In many ways I’ve noticed that when the economy is in ruins, people don’t have as many “things” occupying their time, therefore they start to nit-pick each other to death or drink.  Both have a social impact.  Another good example is my front yard.  In the past two years, 4 signs have been knocked over by drunken-drivers and a young man died after driving drunk into a tree at 5:00 a.m.  Friends have been fired from my company for pettier things than in the past, and unemployment is a factor into all of this.  When people have less responsibilities, they generally act that way too.

    With all that said, I cannot wait to move.  I hope I can remain gainfully employed.

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